That gets a slight smirk. "Ah. So how deeply philosophical do you plan on getting? The action cannot exist without a person to act it out, but a person is the culmination of the results of their actions, and will likely follow the same path they've already carved for themselves."
"I can't say I want to be any level of philosophical." It's not a subject he's interested in or thinks is actually useful. "But I believe the situation at least forces the question of whether the Admiral wants a change in action or a change in beliefs." Honestly, he thinks both his actions and beliefs are just as they should be, but he's used to having to play along with people who have power over him.
"And you don't think you should have to change either, in order to conform to the whims of a higher power that you hold in contempt?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. The boy's phrasing was telling.
"I don't hold the Admiral in contempt." Not with the amount of power the Admiral has. He might hate (fear) the Admiral, but it's not an emotion he looks at directly because he has to live under his power and that means holding himself together. "I won't say I haven't been given a compelling reason to change, as a matter of wanting to live, but I can't say I've been given a compelling reason that they're unreasonable."
"So you don't find the intrinsic motivation of wanting to stay alive a particularly motivating one," he posits neutrally. No judgements here. "But you currently lack extrinsic motivation as well, a reason to want to continue where you left off."
"I'd very much like to be alive, but motivation without direction is just spinning wheels. I don't know if you've been told about it, but a few months ago we were separated onto three different ships that were apparently part of the same - fleet as this ship was. The one I was put on had its own problems, but the being in charge there laid out the list of charges from the beginning. That would provide something to work on."
"Is that something you'd prefer?" he asks, and it's fully sincere. "To have a list of what the Admiral perceives to be your crimes laid out for you?"
He can certainly see how it'd be helpful, knowing exactly what it was that needed changing. But he's not fully certain that it's what his small John requires.
"I would." He's used to having to live doing his best to guess what someone more powerful wants from him, but that doesn't mean he thinks it's fair to say to do different without any information on what that could mean. It would be nice to have things be different, for once. "But it doesn't appear that the Admiral does that."
He lifts his hand and waggles it in the prototypical 'ehh' motion. "He does, actually. In a sense. My understanding is that is what your file would contain with a permanent pairing. A list of your life experiences pertinent to the reasons you've been brought here."
"But again, it contextualises the situation." Ha ha, back on philosophy it is. "To learn the history of your actions is to understand who you are as a person."
"So, in that case, it seems unreasonable for you to say that there are modern problems you might not be able to deal with, if you're being given all the context."
"Ah, but there's no guarantee that the way your file is written would arrange context for me," he says cheerfully. "There may be concepts that exist in your world that your file assumes are universal, which is patently untrue."
"That sounds like it'd either be a failure on the Admiral's part, or on yours. Or a sign that the Admiral doesn't think full context is necessary, depending on your opinion of the Admiral."
"On the contrary. It prompts honest discussion," he counters readily. "No one person can know everything, after all. And there's a lot to be said for how a person avoids answering a question, as much as the way they choose to be honest about it."
"I've also met Mister Sims," he points out, "and learned that he is quite literally incapable of seeing me, due to my condition." And he waves his right hand in front of his own eyes. "So that's my entire existence locked out of his conceivable information gathering."
"That I think dealing with the supernatural has little quantifiable effect on how much intelligence a person can gather," he explains simply. "If anything, I'm quite certain that dealing with it has resulted in me knowing significantly less about the world than I assumed I did."
He scratched under his jaw, an idle motion. "I've come to a point where I find myself rarely daring to presume anyone has the same understanding of any situation as I do."
"I assume most people have their own understanding of any situation." He thinks that most of them are probably stupid, but it is less depressing than thinking they share his understanding and still make stupid choices.
"But I meant that you think how people answer things or don't matters because your perception is that of an investigator."
"To no small extent, yes. But that is a skill, that I have spent some years developing, to... to read between the lines people give me and find the truth of the matter."
Does the kid want a demonstration? He's happy to oblige. "For example."
And he gestures in Nathaniel's direction. "You say you don't hold the Admiral in contempt, which I do believe of you. However, you still speak of the actions he takes with a- let's call it hesitance." His tone is polite, conversational, but there's an intensity to his expression, of focus and curiosity. "You're quick to double back and correct if you find a way you could have conceivably insulted him, and you take cares to speak of him in quite diplomatic terms where you can. But at the same time, the lack of concrete direction he gives is vexing, and you posit in no unclear terms that you believe there are better ways he could be managing you as an inmate. The impression you give is of a man you have quite literally no reason to like, but know better than to speak ill of where you believe it would reach him."
Probably for fear of repercussions, he thinks to himself. If he's already here when he's so young, this is a boy who has has a deeply troubled childhood.
It's not an inaccurate assessment, even if Nathaniel might not put it in exactly those terms. But he's not sure if noting the most reasonable attitude to take toward the Admiral counts as detective work. Admittedly, he's pretty sure the only people close to 'investigators' that he knows are the night police, who, overall, he doesn't trust to know how to put together two and two.
"He is a being I have no reason to like, who holds great power over all of us."
"Oh, no- I-I'm not debating his power whatsoever," he says, and there's a hint of amusement there for a moment. "More that you have no reason to like him. I do- several, in fact."
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Date: 2022-11-16 04:04 am (UTC)He can certainly see how it'd be helpful, knowing exactly what it was that needed changing. But he's not fully certain that it's what his small John requires.
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Date: 2022-11-16 06:34 am (UTC)He scratched under his jaw, an idle motion. "I've come to a point where I find myself rarely daring to presume anyone has the same understanding of any situation as I do."
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Date: 2022-11-16 06:38 am (UTC)"But I meant that you think how people answer things or don't matters because your perception is that of an investigator."
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Date: 2022-11-16 06:53 am (UTC)Does the kid want a demonstration? He's happy to oblige. "For example."
And he gestures in Nathaniel's direction. "You say you don't hold the Admiral in contempt, which I do believe of you. However, you still speak of the actions he takes with a- let's call it hesitance." His tone is polite, conversational, but there's an intensity to his expression, of focus and curiosity. "You're quick to double back and correct if you find a way you could have conceivably insulted him, and you take cares to speak of him in quite diplomatic terms where you can. But at the same time, the lack of concrete direction he gives is vexing, and you posit in no unclear terms that you believe there are better ways he could be managing you as an inmate. The impression you give is of a man you have quite literally no reason to like, but know better than to speak ill of where you believe it would reach him."
Probably for fear of repercussions, he thinks to himself. If he's already here when he's so young, this is a boy who has has a deeply troubled childhood.
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Date: 2022-11-16 07:01 am (UTC)"He is a being I have no reason to like, who holds great power over all of us."
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